well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
