dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize