1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she was so not down for the gang bang
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
