dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
