You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
