Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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