turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
