we're blogging at a bar
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize