Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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