i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
