3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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