life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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