I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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