:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
