I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
