Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize