you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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