If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
