I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize