i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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