ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
