she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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