i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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