What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
ugly people sure do ruin things
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
