Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
