I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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