Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
