How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
