another moral hangover. fuck.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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