yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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