Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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