Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We are two peas in an std pod
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
