dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize