After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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