no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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