It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
