I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
