You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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