i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
