Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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