I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
