Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
