official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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