I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
