why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
