nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
