she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
