Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All I want is dick and wine.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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