I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
