When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You made out with two different species that night
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
