Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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