Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
