i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
