Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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