Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
