If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
