definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
