He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Even my vagina gasped.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
