i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
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